Tri Kid

Late, But Great, New Years Resolution

2011-01-17T08:00:00.002-05:00

I've never been big on New Years Resolutions. I think they're kind of hokey, and the vast majority (read: all) of the time I make one, it never fails to fail. I think it's because all my resolutions have always been so specific:

Lose twenty pounds.

Go to the gym five times a week.

Save more money.

Etc, etc, etc.

These resolutions, for me, do not a good year make. I can hold myself to them for a few weeks, but then it just becomes too much. I get bored, I get annoyed, I get distracted.

I went to visit my parents this weekend, and on Saturday my mom and I went to see her best friend, a woman who is like a second mother to me, and she looked at me and said, "You're in a really good place right now". And I am - I'm not sure when it happened, or how it happened, but I am in a better place right now than I have been in over a year. Over New Years weekend something clicked, something in me snapped, and unconsciously I decided to change. I didn't say I need to change, I decided to change. This, I think, is the biggest factor between resolutions that are kept and resolutions that fail.

It wasn't as easy, though, as deciding to change. Change encompasses so, so much. What am I changing? What needs to be changed? How am I going to facilitate these changes that I've decided to make?

I wasn't sure how to navigate these questions, this broad area of newness. But then, something happened. I bought this:

Honestly, I only bought it because I liked the colors, and the graphics on it were pretty cool. It shows an evolutionary progression from an amoeba, through various animals, to a present-day man hauling a briefcase and smoking, to a more evolved present day man riding a bike with wind turbines behind him.

But I've been staring at that big, bold word in the middle of the bottle and it dawned on me: Change was not what I needed to do. I'm a pretty decent human being as I am. What I need to do is EVOLVE. There is an inherent difference, in my mind, between change and personal evolution. It is the difference between saying something within me is not good enough, and I am good as I am but I can be better.

I am good as who I am, but I want to be great. I want to be amazing. I want to be the best person that I can possibly be.

My New Years resolution? It's simple.

Evolve.

Body-Fat Challenge

2011-01-13T09:59:00.002-05:00

Since I moved here in April, I had driven past Mike Duffy's Gym almost every day. And every few months, I saw a sign posted outside for a Body Fat Challenge. Mike Duffy, the gym owner, holds a 6-week contest every season where, for a certain fee, you get 6 personal training sessions, unlimited boot camp classes, nutrition guidance, and unlimited use of the cardio area of his gym.

I had wanted to do this since I moved here, but I always made excuses. I didn't have time, I didn't have money, my arthritis was too bad to work out. But really, the only reason I didn't do it was because at some point over the past year and a half, I had lost myself. I stopped caring about myself, I stopped taking care of myself and putting myself first. I lost myself in an abusive and demeaning relationship, where my single concern was whether my girlfriend was going to get mad at me, and what I needed to do to avoid it.

It was an extremely unhealthy situation for me to be in and I let myself, my confidence, my strength, my voice, the very things that make me who I am, fly out the window. I stopped running, I stopped working out, I stopped exerting myself, all in an effort to put all my strength into keeping my girlfriend happy.

We've since broken up, and it was a very difficult and painful process realizing all of that. Acknowledging that not only had I suppressed my personality so much that people who met me didn't like me, but that I had alienated the people that actually did like me for who I am.

The end of November and all of December was a time of serious introspection for myself, and I've since realized that I don't even know who I am anymore. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person staring back at me.

Flash forward to today, and I'm coming out of my depression. I'm working out, losing weight, making friends, and generally living life. This is where Mike Duffy comes into play. I'm using his 6-week body fat blast to help me get my life back, to help me get my body back, to help me get me back.

It's easier now that I'm spending all of my time focusing on me.

No title. No excuses. Just life.

2010-11-16T13:23:00.002-05:00

Anyone who has read this blog knows that I am the most unreliable blogger ever. I'm also the most inconsistent runner ever. I am incapable of sticking to my weight-loss or running resolutions.

I am, essentially, the most fickle runner you will ever meet.

That's changing now. It has to.

In 2007, I ran my first and only marathon with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training. I raised money to go to cancer research and patient support, even though I had no direct connection to cancer - my family had always been lucky in that regard.

That changed on September 22, when I found out that my father has Stage 3 stomach cancer.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. My parents told me over the phone, and I just completely broke down. My girlfriend had moved out temporarily that afternoon, and it was like my entire life, my entire safety net, everything that I believed in and looked to for strength, had up and left.

My lifelong struggle with weight has always upset my father. I ran my first race with Dad, and when I decided to run the Rock & Roll Marathon, I tried to convince him to join me. Dad is a runner, a health nut, an avid gym-rat. Until he got cancer.

Dad was also overweight as a child. He worked to get it off, and he's worked ever since to keep it off. Dad has always been one of the healthiest people I know.

He's staying strong, he's not letting the chemo get him down, and he's actually gained back some of the weight he lost when he was really sick and unable to eat. But if there was one thing Dad has always wanted for me, it was to end this struggle with my weight.

I'm running the NYC Half Marathon with LIVESTRONG, and am raising money to help the fight against cancer. I have a personal connection now...I have someone to fight for.

So There's This Shirt...

2010-03-18T08:55:00.005-04:00

This past Halloween I was already well on my way to being the largest I have ever been. Some people see this as ironic: "Didn't you just run a marathon relay? 7.1 miles? Aren't you running a 5-mile race in a few weeks?". Yes, yes, and yes. I was still gaining weight like there was no tomorrow.

This is a picture of a bunch of people who went out on Halloween. We were in Provincetown, MA, and the lady and I were dressed as Bad 80's Prom. She's in the awesome fuscia dress with mullet, and I'm in the blue polo with craptastic plastic sunglasses.

Close-up!

Maybe you can't really see it here, but my belly is overflowing my pants, and you can actually see my belly-button through the shirt.

I'm wearing that same outfit right now (when you unpop the collar and remove the craptastic sunglasses and sweater around the shoulders, it's actually a decent work outfit. Promise). And...It actually fits. Better than it did then.

So far, I'm down 7 pounds and have begun working out in earnest. I'm going to post some pictures from Christmas below (right after my surgery, and when I think I actually weighed more than I did when I started Weight Watchers). After that, I'm putting pictures up from this past weekend. Let me know what you think.

Christmas (that's me and my two brothers - one human, one dog):

And this is last weekend. I was one happy kid, don't you think?

Anyway. I'm pretty pleased with myself so far :-) Here's hoping that I hit my 5% goal tomorrow when I weigh in.

Weekends are disasters for me

2010-03-09T11:23:00.002-05:00

Yeah. I've been slacking with the blogging. Partially because I'm embarrassed of my complete lack of willpower on the weekends. Partially because I gained .6 pounds last Friday at my weigh-in (pretty much expected, which I'll get into later). Partially because I can't figure out how to eat healthy while maintaining the lifestyle I had before. It's really difficult, to be honest.

So, last Friday, as I mentioned, I gained .6 pounds. I expected this. I had lost 5.6 pounds the week before, and anyone who watches The Biggest Loser knows that there is a Week 2 curse. This essentially states that if you lost a lot of weight in the first week, you'll probably stay the same or gain the next week. I also had been really, really slacking with my water consumption. Really, though, I was just glad that I only gained .6. It could have been A LOT worse.

Weekends are tough. I don't have the structure of a workday to base myself on. I have a fridge full of food that I can munch on at any given time. If I'm away for the weekend (like I was this past weekend), I always end up going out to dinner.

But I'm trying to make better decisions at restaurants, too. Let's review last weekend, shall we? The lady and I were going to West Long Branch to spend the entire day looking at apartment complexes. We stopped at Starbucks to get some coffee and breakfast, where I had a tall one-pump skinny vanilla latte. Points? 2. Breakfast was the Perfect Oatmeal with brown sugar and dried fruit. Points? 5. A 7-point breakfast, but not bad for 10AM. Later in the day, while walking down the boardwalk, we stopped for a cappuchino. I got both made with skim milk and no sugar. Again, not bad. And then....

And then...

There was gelato. And it looked delicious. We both wanted some. Normal me would have bought two smalls, one for each of us. I looked at her and said, "we can get it, but we have to share the kiddie size.". It was PERFECT.

She had surprised me earlier in the day with a night away from life at a local hotel. It was great. We really needed some time to ourselves, with no family or roommates or friends to bother us. We needed to recharge our relationship batteries. But of course...That meant that we would have to go out to eat for dinner.

We shared an order of wings, because we're both addicted to wings.
She got a crock of french onion soup, of which I had a spoonful.
For dinner, she had crabcakes and I had a grilled chicken sandwich. Grilled chicken, mozzarella, roasted red peppers, onions, an a balsamic vinagrette. Delicious. I cut it in half, took half the chicken off of one half, and ate only one half. I was pretty proud of myself! I also had two Michelob Ultras with dinner, but at only 2 points apiece I treated myself.

It's not about limiting yourself, I'm realizing. It's about allowing yourself to have what you want, but being conscious of how much you're having. Past-me would have eaten the entire sandwich and not thought about it. Healthy-me knows better.

The other night, I went out for karaoke with the lady, her best friend, his husband, and two of their friends. Apparently karaoke also includes dinner now. I had a chipotle ranch chicken salad, and got grilled chicken instead of chicket cutlet, and kept the dressing on the side instead of pouring it all over the salad. I ended up using only half the dressing they gave.

It's the small changes that can really make or break a meal. I probably saved a few hundred calories on that chicken salad by switching out for grilled chicken, and dipping the salad into the dressing.

So what did all those small changes add up to this week?

A 2-pound weight loss :-D I'm down 7 pounds in three weeks. My goal is to lose 3 lbs next week, so that I can hit an even 10 in one month.

Coming up this weekend - a behind the scenes tour of Yankee Stadium, lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe in the Stadium, and a St. Paddy's Day pub crawl. Let's see what small changes I can make to my antics to save some calories.

Snowpocolypse: Redux

2010-02-26T09:24:00.002-05:00

The snow was supposed to stop THIS MORNING. I'm very disappointed with you, National Weather Service Alert System. Last night, you told me the "Winter Storm Warning" was in effect until 6AM TODAY. Now, it's in effect until 6AM TOMORROW. This morning, my neighborhood was a winter wonderland, and while the majority of the time that's awesome, today it was most definitely NOT.

See, today was my first weigh-in. And I'm still scared shitless of walking on slippery, snow- and ice-covered sidewalks, because if I slip and fall my shoulder is gonna go all tear-y on me again. And honestly? Do.Not.Want. So I was faced with this decision today: Stay home from work and miss my weigh-in, or make the Walk of Slushy Doom and take my chances.

I opted for choice B. Because I've worked damn hard this week, and I deserved to see if my work paid off.

It did. To the tune of 5.6 pounds!

Damn straight. I hit the five pound goal in one week.

Total weight lost: 5.6 lbs.
Current weight: 193.6.

BOOYAH!

Birthday Celebration Dinner

2010-02-25T10:23:00.002-05:00

The first time I joined Weight Watchers, you only had your allotted X points for the day, and that was it. You could earn extra points by working out, but you had to use them that day. As far as I can remember, you weren't allowed to bring over unused points from one day to the next. Use'em or lose'em.

Now, they have these things called Weekly Points. It's X number of extra points that you get to use however you want to during the week. Also, any points to accrue by working out can be used at any time during the week.

At my current weight, I have 35 weekly points to do with as I please. I also earned 5 extra points on Monday for cycling at >12mph for 30 minutes. So, that's 40 points for me to use and abuse. Or just use.

Yesterday was the lady's mothers birthday. Her mom passed away five years ago from cancer, and every year on her mom's birthday and anniversary of her passing, she goes out for a cosmo to celebrate her mom's life. Cosmo's were Margie's drink, the lady says, and she could drink three of them and still walk in stiletto's without spilling a drop. I have three beers and sometimes spill out of a pint glass while walking in sneakers, so that is a feat to be very much admired.

So, yesterday I took the lady out for a cosmo and dinner. Date night! She had a cosmo, I had a vodka and club soda. 3 points! Then, I splurged. I had a grass-fed cheeseburger (the burger was grass-fed, not the cheese) with a side-salad instead of fries. And, before I count the points in that, can I just say that it was the best burger to ever have graced my mouth? I can? Awesome, thanks.

It was the best burger to ever have graced my mouth. By far, one of the best meals I've had out in recent (and not-so-recent) memory. And something I can actually, truly, appreciate because I've stopped eating crap. Perhaps that's why it tasted so good - I'm looking back over my food journal, and all of the refined and processed crap has pretty much been cut out of my diet so now there is a greater appreciation for food that is actually good.

The salad was damn good, too.

It gave me a pretty big hit on the points, though. The burger itself ended up being 8.5 points, plus another 3 for the bun and two for the cheese, and 3 for the dressing used on the salad (a basic balsamic vinaigrette, it tasted like, but I'm adding a point or two just in case - I'd rather overestimate than underestimate). So 16.5 points for dinner.

It put me at 33 for the day, which is using 6 of the Weekly Points and leaving me with 29 Weekly Points left, and 5 Activity Points.

I learned, though, that I CAN go out to dinner. That I shouldn't avoid eating at restaurants if it's a special occasion. I'm able to go out, enjoy myself, and NOT FEEL GUILTY AFTERWARDS. I think that was the biggest step for me last night - I didn't feel guilty after eating, because I knew that I had allotted for it and I didn't go overboard.

I weigh in tomorrow. I'm nervous. The lady said that she can already see in my face that I'm not as 'puffy' as I was. We normally spend every night together, but she went out to Jersey early Monday morning and didn't come back till after work last night, so she hadn't seen me for over two days. She said she can definitely tell a difference already. That was exciting :-)

Routines Work

2010-02-24T10:08:00.002-05:00

I've heard that it takes two weeks to really get into a routine, to break bad habits, to become accustomed to doing new things. Two weeks seems like a really long time, doesn't it? I mean, that's half a month. 14 days. 336 hours. Oh. Well, when you put it into hours, it really doesn't seem that long.

Anyway. People say that the first two weeks are always the hardest. You're not used to the new things, you want to fall back into your comfort zone and just check out that menu and order takeout, especially because you left the apartment at 7:30AM and didn't get back till 7PM, and you had TWO appointments to get the shoulder checked out (post-op no. 3 and physical therapy) and it's kind of sore and tired and achey, and it's LOST night and you still have to shower and it's raining and nasty, and lunch still isn't made for tomorrow (maybe Subway wouldn't be a bad idea...), and you have to pack a bag because you're going to see the lady the next day in Jersey, and a whole slew of other things that makes you not want to make dinner.

Not that I ran into any of those issues last night. Nosiree.

But if one DID run into all those, and was still just on day five of a new lifestyle, it would be ok if one just did takeout, right?

NO! As much as I didn't want to cook ANYTHING, I ended up throwing together a pretty nice meal for myself. As soon as I got home, and mentally ran through everything I needed to do and whether I just wanted to skip (or order in) dinner, I decided to just do it. I didn't even change out of my work clothes. I boiled a cup of whole-wheat pasta. Cooked a thin piece of chicken fillet. Stir-fried some brocolli and carrots. The end-product? An excellent recreation of something my mom used to make for me and my brother when we were kids. Total time? Twenty minutes.

I took another ten minutes to put together my lunch for the next day after I ate and cleaned up after myself. I'm beginning to actually enjoy the routine of getting everything ready for the next day. I feel like I'm actually taking care of myself. I made my 'normal' sandwich - two slices of whole wheat bread, two slices of American cheese, three slices of deli turkey, baby greens, peppers, tomatoes, onions, and a bunch of alfalfa sprouts. It's pretty much a salad on bread. And it's made of AWESOME.

I feel...healthy. I feel lighter. I'm sleeping well at night, I wake up rested and ready to go in the morning, I don't get tired during the day, and I'm happy when I get home. Is this how you feel when you eat correctly? Man, why didn't anyone ever tell me this?

Coming tomorrow: How I handled the Happy Hour I'm going to tonight.

Ashley: 4, Hunger Monster: 0.

Ashley: 3, Hunger Monster: 0

2010-02-22T10:22:00.003-05:00

I'm very proud of myself so far. It's been hard, but I've been able to stay under my allotted points every day so far. I've had a lot of temptations, the worst of which was on Saturday night. The lady and I had a party to go to, where there would be copious amounts of alcohol consumption. Instead of buying beer like normal, I opted for a flavored vodka and diet club soda. When we got home that night, my roommate tossed in some pizza to heat up and I immediately started salivating. I wanted a slice SO BAD. Drunk hungries are bad hungries. I asked, instead, if I could have a single pepperoni from one of the slices.

It was disgusting. I opened up a bag of carrots and hummus instead. Hunger monster: Defeated!

Earlier that day, the lady cooked breakfast for us. I had a single egg (2 points!), three slices of turkey bacon (1 point!), and a whole wheat english muffin (2 points!). I finished eating before the lady, and instead of finishing her plate I went and grabbed my food journal and a mint or two. I removed myself from a temptation that I otherwise would have given in to. Hunger monster: Defeated!

The next morning, instead of my usual post-drinking breakfast of a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel, I got egg whites, fresh turkey and a slice of cheese on whole wheat toast. Six points! And mostly satisfying. Hunger monster: Defeated!

I'm learning that I can make healthy choices and still be satisfied. And that I am able to remove myself from situations where I would otherwise make poor decisions.

T-4 days till I weigh in.

Taking The Leap

2010-02-19T10:13:00.002-05:00

Today, I did something that I haven't done in about ten years.

I joined Weight Watchers. For the third time in my life. They say third time's a charm, right?

First time I did it, I lost about thirty pounds. I was 13.

Next time I did it, I was in high school and was too ashamed to admit to myself I was doing it again. I lost five pounds, and stopped going.

This time, I'm hoping things are going to be different. It's a new decade, and my hopes are that this decade aren't as tumultuous weight-wise as the last one. Let's recap the past ten years, shall we?

In 2000, I was in high school. While I was overweight, I was never fat and was still a nationally-ranked field hockey player. I was being recruited by numerous Division 1 schools, as well as the US Military Academy. I probably fluctuated between 160 and 165 all through high school.

In 2003, I entered the US Military Academy and began the hardest, longest, most strenuous, and healthiest six months of my life. I dropped about 25 pounds during that time, weighing in at my lowest ever of 143. I had (probably) around 20% body fat, and muscles galore. I almost had a six-pack, for crying out loud, and could do 3 sets of 6 unassisted pull-ups.

Then they kicked me out, because I'm a big old homo. Depression set in, and I gained almost sixty pounds over the next year and a half. I was going to college, binge drinking every weekend, not working out or taking care of myself, and not really playing any sports.

In 2005 I found out that my college was getting a field hockey team, and the coach would be someone who had recruited me during my high school days. Over the next year, I whipped myself into shape and dropped down to 170. I was also able to run a sub-8 mile, and beat half my team at the majority of the speed and endurance drills we did (as a goalie, that was not expected or required).

In 2007 I started training for, and ran, my first marathon. I also ran a half-marathon that year. I ran my second half-marathon, and my first triathlon, in 2008. I was probably hovering between 165 and 175 those years.

I moved to New York City and discovered the beauty of take-out. I've been living on my own for three years, and I still haven't learned to cook. I've been fighting injuries, and I just had shoulder surgery which has kept me from working out for the past 2+ months. I've also entered into a relationship with an amazing woman, and with that came the requisite relationship weight-gain.

Since my last serious foray into racing, when I was fluctuating between 165 and 175, I've put on some serious weight. I weighed in at Weight Watchers this morning, and it broke my heart to see how much I've let my body deteriorate over the past two years.

The final number? I weighed in at 199.2.

I've never weighed this much before in my life. And I will never weigh this much again. I am tired of my seesawing weight. I'm tired of having clothes in my closet that don't fit me anymore (for bad reasons. I'd love to have clothes in my closet that are too big for me!). I am, in short, disgusted with myself.

I have a lot of issues with food. Right now, I have peanut butter bars in the drawer of my desk that I bought at the meeting this morning. I can't concentrate on ANYTHING because all I want are those damn bars. If there is food in the vicinity, I will eat it even if I don't want it. That's one of the reasons I do take-out so much - it gives me a certain amount of food, normally with no leftovers. If I have food in the house, I WILL eat it. Even if I'm not hungry. Even if I don't necessarily like it. Even if I have to sneak it.

I have an obsession with food. I've always had an obsession with food. I need to END this obsession with food. It won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. But it WILL happen. It HAS to happen.

And I WILL do it this time.

Running Fail

2010-02-09T08:34:00.002-05:00

I tried to run. I really did. I warmed up for five minutes, like the program instructs. Then I broke into a SLOW jog. I'm talking 5.2 mph on the treadmill. I was able to keep it up for 1/8 of a mile.

Why? Not because I was tired. Not because I was out of shape.

My damn shoulder hurt.

I guess I'm still not ready to run :-(

Ended up walking for 30 minutes, with an incline ranging from 3.0 to 9.0.

Life Post-Surgery

2010-02-08T10:48:00.003-05:00

I really need some sort of electro-shock therapy to keep up with this blog. I blog for two or three weeks, ignore it for two or three months, rinse and repeat. Oh well.

Life has sucked the past two months. I had surgery on the 21st, for the injury I mentioned in the last entry. It ended up being a bit more invasive than anticipated, and instead of just reattaching the cartilage in the shoulder, the doc had to drill a hole in my bone to reattach my bicep tendon as well. I was immobilized for two weeks, and in a sling for four. I've been doing physical therapy for three weeks now, and I can finally break the plane that runs parallel to the floor. I'm still not allowed to do anything that uses the bicep muscle though.

HOWEVER!!!!!

Last week I got cleared to run. Well, not run. But move forward at a slightly faster-than-walking pace for brief periods of time. My plan, therefore, is to begin doing the Couch-to-5K training plan.

This is a bit of a hit to the ego. Less than three years ago I ran my first marathon. I ran my most recent half-marathon less than two years ago. I've been running (although not consistently) ever since. Even when I take time off, I can normally go right back to running a 33-minute 5K.

But it's OK, I keep telling myself. I need to let me shoulder heal. I need to start slowly so that I don't kill myself.

And, let's be honest. I've gained a significant amount of weight since the surgery.

So that's why I'm starting the Cto5K. With the jog/walk/job intervals, it will keep me honest about not overtaxing my shoulder. It will allow me to safely get back into running. Since it is a 3x/week program, I can do it on the days I don't have physical therapy.

And because I do have a fairly significant running history, I'm not starting at the beginning of the program. Cto5K is typically an 8-week program, building up to run a (duh) 5K at the end of the 8 weeks. I'm going to start at week 4, day 1. This has me doing 2 miles today, but not running more than .5 miles at a time.

Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

I think I can handle that. We shall see.

Week Ending 11/30/09

2009-12-02T10:54:00.002-05:00

I ran a measly 7.52 miles last week. I blame the holiday and all the traveling, even though I did manage to throw a race in there one day.

The miles felt pretty good though, and maybe I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Right now I should be focused on base building, and not racking up the miles. Last thing I want right now is to have an overuse injury.

But speaking of injuries, I went to an orthopedist yesterday to get an old nagging shoulder injury checked out. In October of 2007 I was doing a max-out weightlifting regimen, where I maxed out so much on an overhead press that something in my shoulder popped. I haven't been able to really lift since then, and the shoulder has hurt ever since. But, since I finally hit my insurance deductible last month, I finally went to get it checked out. I'm going for an MR arthrogram tomorrow morning, and that will determine whether I need surgery or not. The doc thinks I may have wrecked the cartilage (aka the labrum) that lines the ball and socket of the shoulder. So lucky me. If it should turn out that I do need the surgery, I need to get it done before the end of the year so that my insurance will cover it.

So that's that. 7.52 miles last week. 7.8 the week before.7.8 the week before that. Monthly total for November: 23.12

That's actually not that bad, considering I only did 14.68 in October.

I'm setting a goal of 40 miles for December. I'll adjust that depending on whether I have this surgery or not. But for now, thats the goal.

Manchester Road Race

2009-11-27T11:12:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I ran the Manchester Road Race - a 5 mile race that is listed as one of the 25 largest road races in the country. With 12,020 racers (yes, thats 20 more than TWELVE THOUSAND PEOPLE), it is a bigger race than the majority of marathons in this country.

Wednesday night I spent at my friends place in Connectict, where I drank eleven beers and didn't go to sleep until about 2:30. Thursday morning I woke up hungover and with aching joints. It was cold and rainy and dreary, and I had left all my arthritis meds back in Brooklyn. I really thought that I was going to pull out after two miles and just call it a day. We left my friends house around 9:15, and the race started at 10AM. Note for future: Leave a lot earlier.

We spent thirty minutes trying to find parking, and I had to practically spring the half mile from my car to the parking lot. I didn't have pins for my race number, and I had gotten separated from my friend while parking, so I was basically up shits creek without a paddle. Luckily I ran into another friend, and she gave me two of her pins.

I lined up at the very back of the starting pack, and it took me 8 minutes to cross the start line. My first mile was wicked slow, because I was at the very back and was weaving in and out of walkers and families and the 13/mm runners. I had wanted to finish this race in under 55 minutes, and I was kind of dejected after I realized that probably wasn't going to happen.

The second mile was all. up. hill. It was painful. The third mile, all the elevation loss was in about a quarter mile. The rest of the race had a net elevation loss, so life was good.

As you can see, once I got out of the crush of humanity after mile 2, I was running negative splits for the rest of the race which actually made me pretty happy. I had taken a GU about ten minutes before the race, and between that and my slow first mile, the arthritic joint creaks had pretty much subsided. After mile 2.5 I was feeling really, really good.

Split	Time	Distance	Elevation Gain	Elevation Loss	Avg Speed	Max Speed	Calories
Summary	00:52:58	4.76	410	448	11:07	08:18	658
1	00:11:45	0.99	32	33	11:50	08:49	130
2	00:12:35	1.01	208	38	12:31	10:41	134
3	00:10:57	1.00	153	290	10:54	08:18	141
4	00:10:18	1.01	17	27	10:14	09:19	145
5	00:07:21	0.76	0	60	09:42	08:31	108
6	00:00:00	0.00	0	0	--:--	--:--	0

I ended up feeling amazing, and I was really, really happy with my performance. This was the first race ever, in my entire life, that I ran negative splits. I even had enough left in the tank to really open up once I hit the last turn. There was a point around mile 4 that I thought I was going to puke, but luckily that went away.

As for the race itself, it was both the best and worst race I've ever run. First, the negatives:

1. There were no water stations. I wish I had known this beforehand, because I would have worn by fuel belt.
2. I got there way too late. Next year I want to be lined up no later than 9:15 so that I'm not going to be at the very, very back of the pack.
3. THE HILL. I swear, that was a long, gradual, painful uphill that lasted from .75 miles to 2.25 miles. Then there was a massive downhill (elevation loss of 250 feet) in a little more than .25 miles.

The positives:

1. Without a doubt, it was the best race atmosphere I've ever experienced. There were people lined alongside the road for the entire race. There were impromptu family bands alongside the entire course. There were 2 or 3 pipe and drum corps, several independent bagpipers, country bands, rock bands, people running in costume (I ran next to Spongebob for the last two miles). Really freakin' cool.
2. It's a great family race. I saw a bunch of running parents with their little kids. It's also a stroller-friendly race.
3. It is open to runners and walkers of all abilities. The winner ran the course in 21 minutes and change. The last runner crossed the line an hour and 41 minutes after the gun went off.
4. It is definitely a race that the entire town looks forward to every year. You can tell in the preparation, and with how many people show up. I've never seen tailgating at a road race before - I saw it for the first time here. A group of my friends had two beer coolers along the race for 'hydration'.

It's a race I will definitely do again next year, taking into consideration all the things I learned this year (arrive earlier, bring water, etc). It is definitely not a race you can run for time, unless you're a seeded runner at the very front of the pack. But if you're looking for a race to run for fun, for a great pre-Thanksgiving binge calorie burn, to have a great time with 12,000 other runners, this is the race to run.

2009-11-20T10:38:00.002-05:00

It's Friday, and I've been on a pretty decent track so far this week.

Monday: 2.84 miles, 10:13 pace
Tuesday: 3.26 miles, 10:21 pace (this also gave me my second fast 5K time ever, at 31:10).
Thursday: 1.69 miles, 10:46 pace (hills around my park. Shorter but far more intense run).

Which brings my weekly total so far to 7.8.

I'm aiming for 5 tomorrow, then another 3 on Sunday, bringing my weekly total to 15.8. Not bad for a weeks effort, if you ask me.

My garmin comes tomorrow, so it should be interesting to see if my Nike+ pace holds up. If it does, I'll be pretty darn happy. If it doesn't...Well, I'm not the speed demon I thought I was. But regardless of what happens, I'm running again and that's what matters.

2009-11-17T09:38:00.002-05:00

I am sick of feeling like I'm 80 years old.

I am disgusted with how my body has deteriorated since I graduated from college.

I am tired of being in pain all of the time.

There's not much I can do about the first and last of those points. But the second one I actually have some control over. And I hope that by doing something about the second, the pain and inflammation of the other two will decrease.

Since I last posted back in March, I've been dealing with some pretty severe arthritis. And I'm 24 years old. It's completely derailed my training, knocked my racing season on it's back, and pretty much turned me into a couch potato. It's the worst in my fingers and toes, but I also have touches of it in my knees, hips and back. There are some mornings that it's unbelievably painful to get out of bed. There are some mornings where I can barely walk. I can't wear dress shoes to work anymore because my toes swell so much. And if I can barely walk, you can be damn sure there is no running going on. On top of all that, I've had runners knee for the past two years. Ironically, that always feels better if I DO run. But, obviously, working out has been all but impossible as of late.

But something needs to change. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. And when I think back to two years ago, when I was just beginning to contemplate running a marathon, and field hockey season was just finishing and I was running a sub-8 mile, and I actually had muscles and not just amorphous blobs of whatever...

Thats changing, and it's changing right now.

Next week I'm running a Thanksgiving Day race, a five-miler. December 8 starts my half-marathon training. February 28 is my next half marathon. If that goes well, I may consider doing a full at the end of spring. I may have convinced my mom to do her first half-marathon, on March 10, which I would pace her for. If I can maintain my half-marathon fitness, I want to aim for a half-Ironman next September or October. I want to get in at least three sprint tris and two Olympic distance ones. I want to get back on my bike.

It's going to hurt. And my joints are going to hate me. But I can't live like this, letting the pain dictate my life.

I'm stronger than that.

2009-03-10T09:30:00.002-04:00

Does anyone else smell Spring in the air?

It brings me back to last summer, when I was first learning how to cycle competitively and bought my first bike and fell in love, twice, for the first time (one with cycling, one with a woman). Both of those loves lasted, but only one is reciprocated today.

I can't wait for the days of warm sunshine and short sleeved jerseys and the awesome tan lines from the spectacular spandex shorts and jersey...Of getting on the bike and just going and going and going with no regard for weather or sunlight (lack thereof, actually), with the wind blowing in your face and the sweat flying off your body, and your quads straining to get up the hill, only to crest it and plummet 30 miles an hour down the other side...For getting up at dark o'clock to get to a race two hours away and set up the transition area in the dark, waiting to get your numbers Sharpie'd onto your arm and leg...

Race season is starting soon, and I can't adequately express how excited I am. Excited doesn't seem like the appropriate word though. I am...Hopeful! I am...Happy! I am...Fired up! I am...Charged! I am...filled with the possibility of new beginnings, anxiously awaiting the progress I want to see throughout the season, proud, nervous, a mite skitterish. But most of all...I am excitedly ecstatic.

And I still don't think thats a true representation of how I'm feeling. But perhaps this just can't be put into words. Suffice it to say...

Welcome home, Spring. Let's do this!

Epic Training Fail

2009-03-09T09:03:00.002-04:00

Ok. So. Here's the news.

I am postponing my race to sometime in August/early September.

Why, you ask? Numerous reasons, the first, foremost, and importantest being that I misunderestimated how difficult it would be to train in the middle of winter.

Well, no, I didn't misunderestimate. I started training for a marathon in early February two years ago. But what I didn't realize is that, while it's possible to run in the snow and ice, biking in said conditions is very difficult. Ergo, my cycling has been woefully lacking. Further, you know whats really hard to do in the winter? Open water swims. I need to be able to practice sighting, and swimming in large groups, and getting punched and kicked and various other forms of beating up that occurs in the swim portion. Which I wouldn't have much time to do if I can't get into the water until mid-May (and even THEN the water is frickin' freezing), and my race in mid-June. Plus, I don't have a wetsuit.

So. Fail on my part.

In addition. I went to the specialty bike shop that I get all my equipment from/repairs done at yesterday. I wanted to get a shorter stem for my bike, because I felt far too stretched out and wasn't comfortable AT ALL when I was riding my drops. Lo and behold, the reason I'm uncomfortable is because MY BIKE DOESN'T FIT ME PROPERLY. Thank you, Trek of Brooklyn, for fitting for a bike that is too large for me, and therefore convincing me to spend almost $2,000 on a bike that I now have to sell because IT DOESN'T FIT ME PROPERLY. So, another reason I'm postponing my race - I need to replace my bike with one that fits me properly, lest I spend too many hours and miles training and end up injuring myself (too extended on a bike can lead to knee, hip, back, and/or sciatica problems).

Luckily, I've only put about 60 miles on it (which is evidenced by the computer that I have, complete with odometer), and it's still in brand-spanking new condition. I can probably get about $1,700 for it on craigslist or E-Bay. And then buy the Cervelo that I tried out yesterday at the specialty bike shop that was actually in my size. It felt pretty damn good.

Anyone interested in a bike?

So that's that. I'm kind of disappointed, but I'm sure it's for the best. It'll give me some more time to get open water swims and long rides in with my tri club, and more options for practice races.

Sometimes I like to disappear.

2009-02-26T09:34:00.002-05:00

But then I come back. Usually.

Anyway. I'm feeling better. I'm back on schedule. I went to my girlie doctor, and she said that my bloaty/crampiness wasn't because of anything girlie-part related, so she thinks it's more of a GI issue than anything. She told me to go for an abdominal ultrasound, but I put that off. The ultrasound she gave me was traumatic enough, thank you very much. And apparently I don't have a left ovary. But thats ok - I believe this is going to make me more aerodynamic on my bike, much like Lance Armstrong and his singular testicle.

But things have calmed down, and I'm attributing the ickiness to a change in diet - now that my body has had a few weeks to acclimate to a natural/organic diet, I'm feeling a lot better.

My training has been going very well. I had my first group run with my tri group on Tuesday, and while I was most definitely the slowest person there, I actually ran one of my fastest times ever. So much for a 40 minute run at RPE 3. Turned into a 35 minute run at RPE holy-crap-i'm-gonna-die.

I'm definitely feeling stronger in the pool, too, which is awesome. And I like how my shoulders and upper back are really firming up and getting stronger and more toned. It's exciting :-)

This weekend I'm snowboarding in Vermont, which I'm really looking forward to.

I Don't Know Whats Wrong With Me

2009-02-11T09:48:00.002-05:00

But something is most definitely off. I'm exhausted all the time. I'm hungry all the time. I don't want to do anything except sleep, or lay on the couch and watch tv. I haven't worked out since Monday...I just don't have the energy. Physically I feel fine - I don't feel like I'm getting sick. I'm just ALWAYS tired and hungry.

Maybe it's just my bodies way of revolting against last week. Maybe I didn't eat enough during the week, and with all the calories I was burning (sometimes up to 1200 a day) I wasn't replenishing properly, and now I've crashed. Or maybe I'm not cut out to train for the Half-Ironman. I don't know. All I know is that I'll eat, and then be starving an hour or two later. Lather, rinse, repeat all day. And I CANNOT get out of bed in the morning. Forget my 530AM workouts. I can barely get out of bed at 645 to get to work on time.

Hopefully my doc tonight can at least point in me some sort of direction. Or tie my cramping/bloatiness into this lethargy/hunger. Or something....Because something just feels off.

Healthy You Check In Week 6; Training Update

2009-02-10T11:27:00.004-05:00

I'm here. I'm working. I am EXHAUSTED. Training is taking much more out of me than I thought it would. But here are my updates:

Friday I missed my evening workout because I had an emergency client meeting that didn't end till 730, and then had a date at 8 that I actually had to push back to 9. Saturday was my rest day, and Sunday I did a 25-mile bike ride in a little less than an hour and a half, so that was good.

Yesterday...Yesterday I could NOT get out of bed. I think my ride was much more taxing that I originally thought. But I got a 40-minute run in last night.

This morning...Couldn't get out of bed. Missed my morning run. Will be combining my 30 minute recovery run and 60 minute easy bike into one workout tonight. And tomorrow I HAVE to get up early to swim. No excuses. I've been going to bed really late recently - between 1030 and 11. Considering my alarm goes off at 5 and I need at least 7 hours, I really need to be getting into bed at 9. I'll try to work on that tonight.

Tomorrow I've got an emergency doctors appointment. I've been having really nasty cramps for the past few months, all month (the monthly friend cramps, not muscle cramps), so I think somethings not right down there. There's also been a constant feeling of bloat. Imagine the physical symptoms of PMS, but all month. It hasn't been fun. Hopefully my doc can figure out whats wrong.

So yeah. Tired, bloaty, crampy...Not sure whats wrong with me. Blah.

Last Swim of the Week

2009-02-06T08:52:00.003-05:00

As the title suggests, this morning was my last swim workout this week. Here's what it looked like:

Warm-up: 400 continuous, last 25 in each 100 is kick
Main: 8x100 EBEH (first 25 is easy, next 25 is build, next 25 is easy, last 25 is hard)
Cool-down: 6x25, each 25 slower than previous

I felt pretty good. The warmup was easy (I remember a time not too long ago where 15 lengths killed me. Now I'm doing 18 lengths as a warmup). The main was tough - I was sucking wind toward the last few laps. I had to cut the 8 to 6 though, because I was running out of time. Soon, I swear, I will get up when my alarm goes off, and not a half hour afterwards. But my catman came up on my bed around 330, and we were totally cuddling, and it was just too cute and I couldn't pull myself away at 5. Or 510. Or 520. I finally got up at 535 and was out the door to the subway by 545. So yeah, I totally blame the little man and his cuddling superpowers. Wanna meet him?

Meet Diablo-Muffin-Little Man-Dee-Fatty-Monkey. Yeah, he's got a lot of names. And a different personality to go with each of them. I'm not quite sure if he's got the personalities because of the multiple names, or vice-versa, but it is what it is. He's my main man. Actually, he's my only man.

Tonight I've got a 45-minute easy ride, tomorrow is an off day, and Sunday I'm meeting up with some people from my triathlon club to go riding in the local park. It's gonna be 50 degrees on Sunday!

Thursday Long Run, and Lost

2009-02-05T08:42:00.002-05:00

My run this morning was absolutely fantastic. Have you ever had that workout or run where you felt as though you could just go on forever and ever and ever? Thats how I felt at 545 this morning. I got on the treadmill and just...went. I was going slow (for a long run I keep my pace at about a 12 minute mile, which is 2 minutes slower than my (hopeful)(projected) race pace. I went for 40 minutes (about 3.5 miles) because I overslept a bit, but i just felt absolutely.fantastic.

No workout scheduled for tonight - I'm meeting up with my Dad after work then going to the Ski Bums happy hour. Hopefully I'll be home by 930 and in bed by 10. Tomorrow I've got a swim in the morning and a bike in the evening, and then a date tomorrow night.

Did you watch Lost last night? Is you brain hurting as much as mine? I have a feeling that on Thursdays this blog is also going to turn into a "Quinn's Theories on Lost" blog. So here we go.

1. Charlie, Desmond and Penny's son, is ALSO Charles Widmore. Hear me out on this one. Desmond and Penny end up going back to the island, and of course they bring their son. The island gets all timey-wimey and then goes back in time. Desmond, Penny, and Charlie get stranded on the island. Desmond and Penny die, becoming the skeletons that Jack found back in Season 1 in the cave (Adam and Eve?). Charlie becomes the 'native son' of the Island, but because of power struggles with Richard Alpert, he ends up leaving the Island. Prior to this he's adopted his mothers maiden name in an attempt to distance himself from his father. After he leaves the Island, he gets married to...

2. Ellie. Or perhaps Ellie and he are siblings. Either way, there is definitely some sort of familial connection between Widmore and Ellie. I also have a feeling that Ellie is Eloise Hawkings, who is Daniels Faradays mother. This would make Penny and Daniel either siblings or cousins, depending on the relationship between Ellie and Widmore. So Widmore and Ellie get married, at some point Penny is born, and some years later she gives birth to her son, Charlie, named after the late and beloved Charlie Pace and NOT as an homage to her father. Ironically, her son ends up also BEING her father.

3. Miles is Pierre Changs son, who we saw at the beginning of Season 5, episode 1.

4. The nosebleeds are happening to people based on how much cumulative time they've spent on the island. Charlotte spent the most time there, so she got it first. Next was Miles, which fits in to the theory that he was the Asian baby from the beginning of the season. Now Juliet is having them, and she's been on the Island for 3 years longer than our Losties. We can expect our Losties to be getting the nosebleeds soon, too, as well as Daniel.

5. I'm still rather confused about the role that Charlotte is going to play in this.

6. I couldn't care less about the Oceanic 6 anymore.

7. Next week, Locke is going to die.

8. The whispers that the Losties were hearing during the first few seasons were not, in fact, the Others. It was actually the future THEM, time-traveling.

I feel like the past four seasons have been intense foreplay, and right now the Island is giving us mind-blowing (quite literal, in some senses) sex. I'm having a braingasm with each episode. And I have got the biggest fanboy crush on Charlotte ever. She's gorgeous. Just so you know.

Crapalicious Day

2009-02-04T11:47:00.003-05:00

Yesterday SUCKED.

I was in the office from 730AM to 9PM. I got my morning run in, like I reported yesterday. And I snuck away from the office at 4 to get my cycling in. But I was back at my desk at 545 and stuck here for the rest of the night.

I got home at 945 and I was famished, so I made a single serving of tuna with a slice of cheese and some orange juice. Actually, a lot of orange juice. I think I'm kind of addicted.

I had sent my boss an email last night saying that because I was there for nearly 14 hours yesterday, I would be coming in a little late today. So instead of getting here at 730 like I normally do after a workout, I rolled in at 815. I know, such a rebel, sleeping late and whatnot.

But I am a rebel, because I'm taking today as an unofficial rest day. It's not bad, because it was a one workout day, not a double. I had a short swim this morning. But tonight is Lost, and I've got another deep tissue massage scheduled for this evening, so I think Wednesdays are going to be an added, unscheduled rest day. As long as I don't have a serious workout planned. My plan calls for six days of working out a week, and I know that if I do that, combined with working 10 or 12 hour days, I am going to burn out, and I can't have that.

So Wednesdays are going to be my mid-week, Lost, massage, pizza days. And maybe a beer during Lost, if I don't do the massage. I'm pushing my body to the brink five days a week - I don't think one day of pleasure is going to kill me. In fact, I think it will do the exact opposite.

Tomorrow morning I've got a long 60 minute run, then work all day. Then I'm meeting up with my dad after work to get some stuff from him (he's working in the city again! Yay!), and afterwards I've got a Ski Bums happy hour that I'm going to. Kevin's got some books for me to read, and it's always nice to see the boys from the Argentina trip for a little while. So I'm definitely looking forward to tomorrow, provided I can get up early enough to get a solid hours run in.

Yesterdays bike session was an easy spin - I kept my cadence up around 100, my speed averaging at 16.5 mph, and my heartratoe at a nice, fat-burning 65% for the entire time, which was my main goal. All in all, a successful workout. In 40 minutes I went a little over 10 miles, and wasn't out of breath at all.

HYC Check in: Week 5, Training update, plus more!

2009-02-03T08:17:00.002-05:00

Since I posted yesterday I got in two runs. Here are the stats from my heartrate monitor:

PM Run, Monday: Aaaand crap. Apparently my watch only stores the most recent workout. Hm. Ok. Well, here are my notes from yesterday: "Cut to 30 minutes because of limits @gym - run outside from now on for 30+ min runs. TIRED, lethargic, legs felt heavy. Treadmill felt faster than my old gym. 2.5 miles"

AM Run, Tuesday: Duration: 21:24, 16:14 in zone; 236 calories burned

Tonight I've got a 60 minute easy spin. We're supposed to get hit with a nasty storm today, so there's a solid chance I'll be relegated to the bikes at the gym.

Other stuff:

My mom gave me a few new work blouses for Christmas this year. One is a really nice Charter Club light purpley striped number, size 12. When I tried it on the day after Christmas, I couldn't even button it closed. Today I'm wearing it, and it's loose! I'm rather excited about this.

I also bought some new clothes from American Eagle - new jeans, a sweater, and a henley. They were having some massive clearance sales, and I got all three for the actual original price of the jeans. So I was happy. But I bought them in smaller sizes than I usually do, because I wanted something to work towards. (I wear mens clothes, so take that into account). The jeans were 33x30 low-rise bootcut, and the sweater and henley were smalls. THEY ALL FIT! I was expecting the jeans to be a little tight, but they fit nicely! And the sweater is fitted, so I need to wear it with a looser pair of jeans (probably my 34x30 bootcut ones), but it looks good! I'm really excited. Hopefully soon I'll lose my muffintop, too!

I'm not dead. Yet.

2009-02-02T07:55:00.002-05:00

I know I've been gone. Sorry for disappearing like that. I was just really out of it last week for some reason. Exhausted and whatnot. So I took some time off.

But no longer! Because we all know what today is! The first day of my real training! So here is what the training log calls for today:

Swim: Long day
Warm up: 200 meter swim, 200M kick, 200M pull, 200M swim (for those of us keeping track, thats a .5 mile warmup)
Main: 1x1500M, RPE 4
Cool down: 4x50m, each slower than the last

Run: 40 minutes easy, RPE 3

I did the swim this morning before work, but I actually ran out of time. I did a shortened warmup (150M swim, pull, swim, for a grand total is 450M), and the main got cut to a 1250 instead of a 1500, and the cooldown was eliminated altogether. But still, thats a daily total of 1700M, which is longer than a mile, and I was in the pool for about 40 minutes, including my rest between the warmup and main part of the workout. The 1250 took me 28 minutes, with pretty much even laps between 1min5secs and 1min10secs. My fastest was 1min5sec even, and my slowest was a 1min19sec, because I swallowed a mouthful of water and had to stop.

I was starving this morning. I stopped and got a fruit salad with some cottage cheese on my way into the office, so hopefully that will hold me until 10 when I can eat my oatmeal. And I forgot to bring lunch today, so I'm trying to figure out what I can buy that won't weigh me down for my run this afternoon.

Superbowl Foods

2009-01-30T13:36:00.001-05:00

Ok. For those of you looking for healthier alternatives to your typical Superbowl foods, DO NOT MAKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Lord I think I gained 20 pounds just LOOKING at it.

What is a "Diet"?

2009-01-28T08:27:00.003-05:00

I had a short conversation with my roommate Monday night. She asked me if I wanted a bag of her chips because she's on a diet. I said sure, why not. I ate the chips, I didn't feel guilty. (I also worked out twice on Monday - swim in the morning and run at night, but regardless). But it got me thinking.

I don't consider what I'm doing to be dieting. I'm not physically depriving myself of anything. I know that if I want some chips, or a slice of pizza, or god forbid some ice cream, I will let myself have it. What I am doing, however, is consciously making healthier choices. Because I KNOW I can have that pizza for lunch, I have less desire to actually have it. I get a salad instead. The temptation to "cheat" is practically non-existent because I wouldn't be cheating.

So what is a diet, exactly? In my mind, it's self-imposed restrictions on what you can eat. And those restrictions MAKE you want those restricted or forbidden items even more.

I'm not on a diet. Every time I've been on a diet I have failed miserably, and most of the time ended up gaining weight anyway. So what am I doing? I am making conscious, healthy decisions at every meal. I'm not planning my meals out. I'm eating when I'm hungry, but I'm MAKING BETTER DECISIONS. Not because I want to lose weight, but because I need to give my body the proper, natural, organic foods it needs to keep fueled for my training.

For example. Instead of buying a huge, horrible, but delicious muffin from the guy on the street, I bring fruit. Or I buy a fruit salad. And then mid-morning, when I'm getting hungry again, I have organic flax seed oatmeal with almonds, granola, and agave nectar with a cup of black tea instead of going down to Starbucks for a latte and a cookie. For lunch, instead of pizza or fast food, I get a salad.

I am not depriving myself of anything. If I want a beer, I'll have a beer. I'll have my latte on the weekend, as a treat. Because then I appreciate it more.

When I get into 2 or 3 hours of working out a day, during the intense parts of my training, that oatmeal I listed above is going to fuel me a lot better than a slice of pizza or a cookie. And maybe thats why so many diets fail. So many people focus on the deprivation aspect of the diet that they're not seeing the big picture. It's NOT about depriving yourself - it's about making the better, healthier choice, one meal at a time.

And on that note, I didn't make it to the gym yesterday. At 430, when I was getting ready to head home (I get in around 730, so I leave around 430), my boss told me to stay because we were having a meeting sometime after 5. No problem - I figured I'd just get to the gym around 7 or so, and actually take the late Tuesday spin class. Turns out the meeting is me, him, and the two attorneys hashing out the future of the firm in the bar in the basement. Two hours and three beers later I'm heading home. It was 9 by the time I got back to my apartment. Chugged some water and went to bed.

Today is my scheduled rest day, and I've actually got a deep tissue/sports massage scheduled for tonight with someone that works with my tri club. I think the massage is going to be a once a month thing, used during my recovery week. My training schedule calls for three weeks of intense building workouts, followed by one recovery workout. My plan is to do a race at the end of each of the three building weeks, then have a good recovery week with a deep tissue massage to help get everything recovered properly. Tomorrow and Friday I'll do my morning swim and evening cycle/run.

And here are my stats from Mondays run:

Time: 43 min, 38 secs
HR Limits: 92/73
Time in Zone: 24 min 15 secs
Time Below Zone: 18 min 17 sec
Time Aboze Zone: 1 min 6 sec
Cal/Fat%: 417/35

I did an interval/recovery workout - bringing my heartrate to 87-90% of my max, staying there for a few minutes, then tracking to see how long it took me to recover to between 60 and 65%. Every time, it took an even two minutes to recover, so I'm happy with that.

What problems have you faced with dieting? Have you noticed that whenever you 'diet', you fail'? Or have diets worked for you?

Morning Workout

2009-01-26T08:24:00.003-05:00

Today started what I hope will become my new routine:

I made it to the pool before work! I got in a solid half-mile workout (1/8 mile warmup, alternating freestyle sprints and breast stroke recovery, 1/8 mile cooldown) in 20 minutes. CRAZY! Granted, my rest periods aren't counted in that 20 minutes (I stopped my watch any time I wasn't swimming - it gives me a better view of how much I actually worked). But still, I was only in the pool for about 25 or 30 minutes, so I'm pretty happy with it.

I ended up getting to the office at 710, which is a solid 35 minutes earlier than usual, so my perception of time is really wonky right now. I feel like it should be around 10, not 830 because I've been awake for so long. But when my pool workouts start becoming more structured and long I'll be getting it at the normal time.

Saturday I spent snowboarding all day with a group of girls that were a LOT better than I was. We spent the entire morning on black diamonds, and I really challenged and pushed myself and feel like I really, really improved. I'm happy :-) My abs were actually sore on Sunday, much more so than my legs. I guess when you're pulling tight turns on very steep terrain you engage your core much more.

Whats one of the ways you get a new routine to stick? I really need to keep this morning workout routine going, but I know that later in the week, when I'm really tired, it's going to be hard to get out of bed that hour and a half earlier. Today I guilted myself ("You know you're going to regret not going. You're awake. Get out of bed, go to the gym, and just go to sleep an hour early tonight. Lazy."). Any suggestions, aside from willpower? Because sometimes willpower just isn't enough.

Success

2009-01-23T12:08:00.003-05:00

I was a good kid yesterday and skipped the bar in favor of the gym. Now that I think about it and compare potential calorie consumption v. calories burned, I'm really, really, really happy I went to the gym.

At the bar I would have consumed probably 2 or 3 beers, which is about par for me when just hanging out. I'm a huge fan of heavy germanic beers, and probably would have had Blue Moon draft. There are 171 calories in a 12 oz. serving of Blue Moon, and considering they are sold in 16 oz. pint glasses, there are 213.75 calories in a pint of Blue Moon.

3 Blue Moons x 213.75 calories each = 641.25 calories consumed.

I use a Polar heart rate monitor when I do cardio, and as usual had it on last night during my spin class. The following are the stats from the gym last night:

Duration: 48 min, 6 sec.
Heart Rate Limits (lower and upper 25%): 73/95
Time Spent in HR Zone: 38 min, 23 sec
Calories/Fat % Burned: 515/30%

WOW. I've never really looked at it like that before, basing it on calories and whatnot. But...Holy crap. I can't even begin to express to you how happy I am that I went to the gym instead. I essentially saved 1,156.75 calories by deciding NOT to consume the beer and taking a spin class instead. Thats almost a full days worth of food.

Tonight I need to cook. Everyone brings food for the bus ride home from the mountain tomorrow, and I really want to make something healthy, but good enough that it will be satisfying after a long day of snowboarding. Does anyone have any suggestions? It needs to be portable, able to sit on a bus for 10+ hours without going bad, and easy to make (cause I'm really, really bad in the kitchen). Maybe some sort of healthy cookie or brownie or some such dessert?

Gym Dilemma

2009-01-22T09:07:00.002-05:00

So here's my problem. On Saturday I'm going the first ever women's only Ski Bums trip, and tonight there's a Happy Hour meet-and-greet kind of thing so we can all get to know each other before we go (since 99% of us have never met each other before).

Yesterday I took a rest day because it was scheduled. Sunday I worked out, even though it was a rest day. Do I take Sundays rest day and use it today so that I can go to this happy hour, or skip it so I can get a workout in? I can't do both - the bar is in Greenwich Village, and I live in Brooklyn, so it will take me about an hour to get home and it doesn't start till 7. It makes no sense to leave work at 4, travel the 40 minutes home, workout, shower, travel an hour back into the city, hang out for an hour, then travel an hour back home. It's definitely one of those either-or situations.

I'm leaning towards skipping the happy hour and going to the gym, partially because I hate being out so late, and also because I'm feeling kind of lazy after not working out yesterday. On the other hand, it really wouldn't mess up my schedule too much because I DID work out on a scheduled rest day.

Other news:

I start my official 20-week Half-Ironman training plan on February 2, Groundhog Day, Mom's birthday. It's going to be a killer. I'll keep all of you completely up-to-date on my exact workouts once I get into them...Until then, suffice it to say that I am not going to have time to breath! I'm looking forward to it.

Rest Day

2009-01-21T12:14:00.003-05:00

Today is one of my two scheduled rest days (the other being Sunday). I've worked out for three days in a row now - I went to the gym on Sunday, even though it's technically a rest day, because I hadn't gone in over a week. I'm actually looking forward to resting today. I'm quite sore, and very tired. And besides...

LOST IS BACK ON TONIGHT! I mean, really. LOST is so much more important than the gym, especially because we're going to a LOST party, and watching the season finale from last year. I'm quite excited, actually.

I've been cooking the past two nights...if you define cooking as combining various Trader Joe's frozen entrees. The other night I did rice pilaf with chicken skewers, and last night I did a stir-fry vegetable with more chicken skewers. I had to add my own seasoning to the stir-fry, so I went with soy sauce and some crushed red pepper. It ended up looking like this:

I was very proud of myself, to say the least. However.

Crushed red pepper is, apparently, EXTREMELY HOT. And because I can't deal with hot very well, I ended up having to trash more than half the vegetables. But at least I know better for next time!

HYC Check In: Week 3

2009-01-20T08:54:00.002-05:00

I don't weigh myself. I find that it gives me a very skewed outlook on myself. While I may currently weigh about 170, I also have massive amounts of muscle that really mess up the numbers on the scale. My calves are really cows, measuring in at more than 12 inches around of solid muscle. My quads are thunder thigh holy muscle mania. My biceps have also been growing lately - I attribute it to the swimming, and actually using my arms as I run.

I also have an extremely masculine frame, which causes me to get mistaken for a guy at least three times a day. Broad shoulders, bulky frame, shorts legs and long torso. SMALL BOOBS. NONEXISTENT BOOBS. Which I actually like. At best, when I'm wearing a fitted polo, it looks like I'm just a guy with massive pecs. Most days I don't even wear a bra, and an under shirt or Under Armour Compression tshirt is more than enough to keep them under control.

So I don't weigh myself. Using the typical weight scales for women, I should weigh anywhere between 125 and 140 pounds. HA! I think I weigh 125 in my right leg. Right now, a good and healthy weight for me would be around 155, which is 5 pounds more than I was when I left the Army. But I'm not going to weigh myself every day or every week.

No. I am going to weigh myself every month. And take measurements every two weeks. To track what means the most to me - losing inches, not weight - measurements are far more important. If I weight 160, but can wear pants with a 31-inch waist (down from the 34 I wear now), I'll be ecstatic. If I can see lines in my quads and cows and biceps and triceps, and weigh 163, I'll be the happiest kid on the planet.

I am an athlete, a powerhouse of muscle that will never weight 125 pounds, regardless of diet or exercise. Not that I would want to - I'm proud of my muscle. I like my solid, boxy, intimidating, muscular, broad, masculine frame.

It's taken a while for me to get there, to appreciate my body for what it is and how it was made.
I used to use my weight as an excuse: "No, I'm not fat, I'm just really muscular/broad/big-boned/athletic". And I was all of those things. I was also overweight. Not obese by any standards, but definitely overweight. Not unhealthily overweight, but overweight nonetheless. I trained for and ran a marathon weighing 175, with a resting heartrate of 50 bpm and excellent blood pressure, cholesteral, you name it. But I was still overweight. I'm still carrying around excess fat in my mid-section (DAMN TUMMY FAT!).

But now I'm realizing that I can maintain that boxy, powerful, muscular frame, and I don't need the fat to go with it. Losing that fat will actually make me even more boxy, powerful, and muscular.

Want to hear my biggest goal? The goal I set for myself every year, without fail, and without fail, fail to meet it? Here it is. I'm putting it out there, into the blogosphere, so that you can help me keep on going, making sure that I don't fall off the horse, and hopefully this will be the year I actually achieve it.

So here it is. The goal that I've set for myself for the past five years, and failed to meet every. single. year.

I want to go to the beach, and instead of hiding behind board shorts and a tank top, I want to rock the board shorts/bikini top. Or sports bra. Or something that exposes my stomach. I want to not be ashamed of my muffin top, of my rolls. I want to be that sporty little lesbian or surfer girl you see on the beach with the toned and tan body, loose board shorts and bikini top. You all know which one I'm talking about.

I'm aiming to have this done by June 13. Thats my half-ironman. If I can do it by then, I will do the run portion of the race in a sports bra and shorts.

So what do you think? Can I do it?

Aspartame

2009-01-19T13:02:00.002-05:00

I just began reading Skinny Bitch, which I've heard is absolutely amazing. I got through the first 3 or 4 chapters on the subway today, just enough to be scared shitless of aspartame, soda, diet soda, splenda, and a host of other things. So I figured, instead of my normal Dr. Pepper with lunch (I LUUUUUURVE me some Dr. Pepper. I will give my firstborn. And second born. And third born (none of which are real sacrifices, seeing as I plan to never deliver a child)) I would get a Diet Snapple. It is, of course, made from the best stuff on earth. I figured I can't go wrong.

Halfway through my salad of romaine-egg whites-kidney beans-tomatoes-fresh mozzarella-chick peas-croutons-and balsamic vinegar, I look at the ingredients of the Diet Snapple.

ASPARTAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaah! Formaldehyde!

Excellent. I tried to make a better decision than sugar-laden Dr. Pepper heavenly goodness, and I'm ingesting aspertame. Dammit.

On the plus side, I've already consumed 40 ounces of water, plus two cups of tea. So maybe I can wash it all out.

A Case of the Mondays

2009-01-19T10:16:00.002-05:00

And not just a case of the regular Mondays, but a case of the 'everyone has the day off from work except me I hate my job' Mondays.

I made it to the gym yesterday and got 3 miles done - first time working out since the accident, and I felt fantastic!! I actually wasn't tired at all when I was done, and probably could have gone longer but I needed to get into the office to put in a few hours on a PowerPoint I'm working on. Tonight will be a spin/short run night.

I'm going to stop at Trader Joe's on my way home from work tonight. It's kind of a hassle to get to from work, but thats ok. I need to stock up on more chicken, salad, breakfast things, snacky things, fruits, etc etc etc. That chicken and salad I made a few weeks ago was absolutely delicious and lasted me half a week. So thats the plan for tonight - Trader Joe's on the way home, gym around 6, then cooking up some dinner afterwards.

Getting back to normal

2009-01-15T11:04:00.002-05:00

Thank you to everyone who sent me well wishes after my last post. I finally feel like I'm getting back to normal (read: I can turn my head all the way to the right without my neck/back seizing up, and I'm sleeping), so I think I'm going to try to hit the gym tonight.

On Saturday, while Mel and I were snowboarding and before the accident, we were talking about how we are actually starting to not feel young anymore. We're both 24, so we are definitely still YOUNG, but we were noticing how we don't bounce back from things as quickly as we used to; how two drinks can now lead to a hangover; how slight twinges and aches and pains aren't as easily ignored. We both realized that hey, we are getting older and we need to start taking care of ourselves.

And then we got into the accident. And when we woke up the next day, we were nowhere near as sore and stiff and pained as we thought we would be. We looked at each other, laughed, and realized that maybe our bodies are still young, we're still supple, we're still able to bounce back and recover and be OK.

That won't last long, though. As it stands I have early onset arthritis in my fingers and toes, I have no cartilage left in my right knee, a souvenier from my hectic field hockey glory. I need to start taking care of myself now, before those things get worse. I need to treat my body with respect and stop pouring alcohol into it three or four nights a week and poisoning it with crappy, fatty take-out.

Tonight I'm back at the gym. I'll probably skip the spin class and lifting, and just run to see how I can handle it. But I'm going back. And then maybe I'll hit the pool tomorrow morning before work.

Is it 2010 yet?

2009-01-12T10:02:00.002-05:00

2009 could not have gotten off on a worse start if it had tried. Over New Years, my cat was in the ER because of a completely blocked urinary tract. After he got home he had a reaction to the meds that he was on that resulted in two MORE trips to the ER. I got two parking tickets within a week of each other. My father lost his job. And then, the icing on the cake...

The other night, I wrecked my car. We were coming home from snowboarding, and I spun out on a patch of ice or slush or something on the NYS Thruway. I spun and spun and spun, finally controlled the car, came to a complete stop, and then was hit by a Nissan Pathfinder. No one was hurt - we spent about 5 hours in the hospital getting checked over, and after some xray's and CT scans we were discharged. We spent the night in a hotel upstate, and then got back to Brooklyn yesterday afternoon.

I am so sore, and so tired, and so...I don't even know. I keep going over it in my head, trying to figure out what I could have done differently, and why I didn't try to get the car off the highway after we stopped and once I noticed the Pathfinder closing in on us. I know that while it seemed an eternity to us, it really only happened in about 5 or 6 seconds, and the fact that I was able to control our spin and keep up on the road was really, really good. But I should have been able to maintain control and get us off the road before the Pathfinder hit us. I haven't slept well since it happened...Last night I had a couple beers and took an anti-anxiety drug that my doctor prescribed me for flying, and it basically put me into a drug-induced coma, but I don't feel like I slept.

Needless to say, I think I fell off the wagon a little bit yesterday. I ordered a small white pizza, and while I didn't eat the whole thing, I ate 3 slices. BUt that was also all that I ate all day. So maybe it wasn't that bad. I don't think I'm going to work out today because I'm so sore and tired. I think I'm still in shock. While we were in the hospital I couldn't stop shaking - it was basically full-body convulsions - and I was freezing and couldn't stop crying.

We could have been killed. We could have been seriously hurt. I could have killed someone. If he had hit my car in any other spot - engine, gas tank, etc - my car could have blown up. Luckily he hit the back on the side that the muffler was on. But still...I am still completely shaken.

My friends aren't mad at me - they say that it was a complete accident, that no one is at fault, that I need to stop apologizing because I did everything that I could have to stop our spinning, and that it was just unfortunate that we also got hit. Because if we hadn't gotten hit, everything would have been ok. I controlled the car, kept us on the road, didn't flip us over or land us in a ditch...

I'm just still really, really, really shaken up. And I probably will be for a while.

Pizza Monster

2009-01-09T14:13:00.002-05:00

Oh my god I really want a slice of pizza. I just had a meeting with my boss and another attorney I work for, and the audit that I'm doing is apparently all effed up. So now I'm irritated, angry, upset that I have to come in on Sunday, and a host of other negative emotions.

And all I want is a slice of greasy, cheesy, hot goodness. But I won't. I brought my lunch with me, and I will eat it. I won't get a soda, either. I'll drink my Propel. But g*ddamn I really want that slice.

Climbing Rocks

2009-01-09T09:58:00.003-05:00

As in, climbing the rocks, and climbing is lots of fun. I love double entendres :-) I didn't go to the gym last night, but thats because my climbing buddy and I went to the climbing gym in New Rochelle for two hours. This was only the second time I've been back climbing since my hiatus began about a year and a half ago, and it felt absolutely amazing.

Two weeks ago when we went I was really cautious on the walls. I could feel that my strength was lacking, and my movements were really stiff. I had completely forgotten on to move on the walls, how to balance my weight and move my feet so that I could reach and not completely kill my upper body after three routes. But this week was amazing. I started on a route that really challenged me last time, and I couldn't get over. There is a little horizontal ledge, like an overhang, that you need to pull yourself up and over to continue up the wall, and no matter how hard I tried last time I couldn't get over it.

This time, I was up and over it no problem! I actually did two of them with mild overhangs, the second being a bit more challenging than the first, and even though I struggled I made it! I was really proud of myself. I ended with a very difficult route for my ability level, and even though it took me about 15 minutes to figure it out and get up there, and even though I fell off the wall several times before I was able to actually complete the move that was frazzling me, I did it. Perseverance and persistence, damn right!

I wish I could put that concentration and dedication into my weight loss, though. I've been very good this week - running on Tuesday, swimming on Wednesday, rock climbing last night, running or cycling tonight, snowboarding tomorrow, and then rest on Sunday. Thats five days of activity, and I'm happy with that. My food consumption has been going well, too. Monday I grilled some chicken and made a huge salad that lasted me three meals - two dinners and once lunch. I haven't done take-out or pizza or eaten out all week. I've been eating 3 meals a day and drinking water like it's my job. No soda this week, either. Wow, thats a first. Amazing!

So I think I'll call this week a success. I'm pretty happy with how I've been keeping with my resolutions.

2009 is off to a promising start!

Pool

2009-01-08T10:08:00.002-05:00

So I made it to the pool last night, finally. After searching for the entrance to the pool for about 20 minutes I finally found it and made my way down. Apparently you need a swim cap to use the pool, which I didn't know about, and got yelled at by the lifeguards. I got my hands on one, and swam for about 30 minutes. I did a 7 minute slow warmup, 12 lengths alternating freestyle sprints and breaststroke, and then a long (prolly about 1/4 mile) cool-down. It kicked my ass - I was exhausted by the end of it. But it was nice - I was home and cooking dinner by 530, instead of just getting home and heading out to the gym.

What I did realize, though, was that I need a really good transition bag. Something that can hold my work clothes away from my pool stuff away from my running/cycling stuff. I'll have to talk to the Tri group on Livejournal to get some recommendations.

Workout Schmerkout

2009-01-07T15:35:00.002-05:00

Getting to the pool in the morning has been an EPIC FAIL on my part. Monday was a washout when it came to working out. I went to the Dodge Y with the intent on getting a membership (thats the gym with a pool. I now belong to two gyms). It took over an hour. I had intended on running when I was there, but the place was so crowded and so humid and so disgusting, and I developed a wicked bad headache/tummyache when I was there...So I called it a night after I got my membership card and went home.

Yesterday was better. I didn't swim in the morning, but I brought my pool stuff with my to work so I could go on my way home. I got there, and there were swim lessons and no lanes available for lap swimming. So I went to Trader Joe's, did some food shopping, went home and changed into my running clothes and went to my running gym. I got 2.5 miles done. Then I went home, cooked up some chicken and made a huge salad. It was DELICIOUS! I used some Lemon-Ginger marinade on the chicken. Delectable.

Failed on the pool again this morning - there's just something about 5Am that my body does not like. But I've got my suit and goggles with me, and as long as there are lanes available I will be there. If not, I'll just run or take a spin class or something tonight.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to go rock climbing, and I'm snowboarding on Saturday for the first time all season. I can't wait! If it's nice on Sunday I'll take my bike out for an hour or so too.

HYC Check In: Week 1

2009-01-06T09:15:00.002-05:00

It's a new year, a new start, a new beginning (which makes sense. You can't very well have an old beginning, can you? The word 'beginning' implies newness. Welcome to the Department of Redundancy Department, kthxbye). This is the year that I will work, that I will kick my ass, that I will FINALLY be happy in this body of mine.

Resolutions for 2009:

1. Eat more fruits and vegetables.
2. Stop eating out/getting take out/eating leftovers of said eating out and take out. When you live in Brooklyn and have all sorts of deliverable food available to you basically 24/7 it's very easy to just not cook.
3. Work out at least four days a week, including morning swim workouts before work. This means being at the pool no later than 5:45AM, but if I'm going to survive this half-ironman I have no choice.
4. Ride my bike every Saturday.
5. GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Or at least get accepted to school for next Spring.
6. Finish the Patriot Half-Ironman in under 6 hours.
7. Eliminate my debt, and begin accumulating savings.

Holiday Hellhole

2008-12-24T11:05:00.002-05:00

I'm dreading tonight. After the office closes I'm going up to my grandma's place in the Bronx, and I'm meeting up with all my family there. With my living in Brooklyn, my grandma and uncle in the Bronx, and my parents upstate, the Bronx is by far the most convenient and central place for us to get together for the holidays.

My problems with my weight stem from a childhood of being told that I was overweight. My grandma would harp on me about how I've gained weight. Whenever we saw her, one of her first comments would always be, "You've gained weight", or "You're looking good". More often than not it was the former.

This led to two things. Firstly, I learned to base my image of myself on what my grandmother would say. If she said something nice, I felt good about myself. But if she said something negative, even if I knew that I had been working hard and working out and eating right, my self-confidence would plummet. Second, I came to RELY on her (unwanted) opinions to determine my self-worth and body image.

I remember once, when I was about 9 and my grandpa was in the hospital, we went to visit him. My grandma got on the scale in his room, weighed herself, and said "Oh good! I'm happy with that!". Then she motioned to me, and said "Get on the scale. I want to see how much you weigh". I froze. I was always a heavy kid, but I was always an ACTIVE kid, too. I Irish Step Danced for twelve years. I played softball and soccer. I ran around and played with the kids in my friends neighborhoods. But I was always a big kid. I blame genetics - I got the short end of the stick on everything - height, thunder thighs, weight (overweightness tends to run on both sides of my family), psoriasis, early graying of the hair. But regardless, I've always been an athlete. But my grandma never saw that - all she saw was that I wasn't skinny.

Luckily, in my grandpa's hospital room, my mom stepped in. She was furious at my grandma for trying to get me to get on the scale - a weight obsession is not something that a 9-year old needs to be subjected to. Unfortunately, by that point it was too late.

To this day, whenever I see my grandma I brace myself for a comment about my weight. Only now it's expanded to comments about my hair (too short), my clothes (too masculine), my watches (is that a man's watch? why yes, nana, it is), the neighborhood I live in (too Jewish. Whatever, nanny). I was training for a marathon, running 40 miles a week, and she would comment about my weight (You're running so much. Why aren't you losing weight? Because, nanny, I eat like a horse to get the energy I NEED to run that much. Gross amounts of running DO NOT necessarily equal gross amounts of weight lost).

While I realize that I am 24 years old, completely independent and capable of living and suriving and succeeding on my own, I revert back to an insecure pre-teen whenever I see my grandmother. And even though I know I am never going to live up to her expectations ("Are there any special men in your life?" "No, nana. I'm GAY." My god, I wish I could just tell her. Another entry, another time). Intellectually I know that I should just ignore everything she says, and not let it ruin the self-image I've built for myself. But I can't. I've been worrying about this for the past three days. I went out and bought new clothes yesterday to wear to dinner tonight, so that maybe that'll be one less thing she has to comment about. Even though I know I'll get comments about what I'm wearing from my mother. Suit pants and a dark red button down aren't festive enough, I'm sure. But hey, I'm PMSing and I'm bloated as hell, and I really don't feel like wearing a tight sweater that shows off said bloat.

Next week: How my family PAID me to lose weight on Weight Watchers when I was 13. 4 bucks a pound? Hell yes I'll starve myself!

Holy hills, Batman!

2008-12-22T13:44:00.002-05:00

I joined the Brooklyn Triathlon Club a few weeks ago, and this week did my first group thing with them. There is an indoor triathlon coaching gym-esque thing in my neighborhood, and the club had reserved workout time. You bring in your own bike and hook it up to a trainer, which in turn is hooked to a computer that determines the resistence that you pedal against. There are eight trainers/computers/slots in total. And the computer has a virtual representation of a TON of bike portions of triathlons from across the country. They've got Ironmans (I don't think the plural of that is Ironmen, because it's not the men thats plural, it's the event itself. Right? It sounds weird), half Iron-mans, sprints and Olympic distances, time-trials, mountain stages, a few stages from the Tour de France, and more.

On Saturday, we did a mountain course. Mt. Wachusett, to be exact, which is actually a mountain in Massachusetts that my ex-girlfriend lives right by, so I've actually been to/seen this mountain before. I was like, "ooh! Mt. Wachusett! I know you! Be nice to me!"

Nice it was not. For those of you unfamiliar with the terrain in Brooklyn, Manhattan, and South Jersey, you would know that there are pretty much NO hills in this area. I was in trouble.

And ohmygod was I in pain. My body is not used to hills. While I maintained a solid 20mph on the bike course during my last triathlon, and am a pretty solid cyclist, these hills brought my average mph down to a measly 11.6. On the flats and downhills I kept myself between 19 and 26.5 (my max). But on one hill...a two mile climb with an incline up to 6.4%, I was down around 5mph. I think that, had I not been hooked up to a trainer, I would have fallen over. It was that bad.

So we rode for an hour, and I covered about 12 miles. HORRIBLE.

But, I did it. I went, I kicked my butt. My heartrate was around 177 the whole time, which is right in my cardio-building range. I burned 700 calories, according to my heartrate moniter, which I actually started 12 minutes late. So it was probably close to 750 or 775.

And then I went and drank a bunch of beer that night. Holiday party at my friends house. I'm not upset about it, and as long as I get to the gym tonight and tomorrow, and bring my bike and stuff home with me for the holiday, I think I'll be ok.

2008-12-19T10:45:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I guess I disappeared for a while. I haven't stopped training, but I did stop blogging about it. But a new year is approaching, my goals for 2009 have been set, and I need to get back on the proverbial horse. So here I am.

This is the plan for 2009. I'm running a Half-Ironman. That would be a 1.2 mile swim, a 58 mile bike, and a 13.1 mile run. In one day. Actually, in about six hours.

I'm aiming to run the Patriot Half-Ironman (www.patriottriathlon.com). Yes, I am crazy. Yes, I am a sucker for pain. And yes, I am really seriously actually going to do it.

A friend of mine from Connecticut is thinking of doing it as well. He signed up for it last year but ended up not being able to. And I know enough people in Massachusetts that I probably wouldn't need a hotel.

But anyway. I bought a brand-spanking new bike (Trek Madone 4.5 ohsopretty), joined a triathlon club, and will be joining a new gym that has an indoor pool (because we all remember my swim saga from the last triathlon). I also took up rock climbing again, and found some awesome people to climb with once or twice a week, so that will definitely take care of any weight training I need to do. I've been riding outside every Saturday (even though it's been as cold as a witches tit, and tomorrow will probably be cancelled because of this snowstorm), and taking spin classes two or three times a week.

In all, I'm very excited. Kind of nervous, but very excited. I've got some nagging injuries that act up every now and then, but pretty much only when running, so I've been saving my running for after the spin classes. I hope that the triathlon club is fun and accepting of a nOOb like myself.

So anyway. Weight is at 173, hoping to get that down to about 150 by the 70.3 in June. I'd be perfectly content with 150, especially on my wicked muscular frame (reference: my calves are 12 inches around, solid muscle, that's not going anywhere. I am a muscular BEAST (with midsectional layers of fat)).

So thats that. I'm back, I'm running a half-ironman.

Oh yeah, another reason for running the half (which, from now on, will be referred to as 70.3 (as in, total miles of the race)) - Lindsay and I broke up, and we had planned on training for one together. Now that we're not together, I want to prove to myself (and, in a way, to her) that I am capable of committing to this on my own. Because I never would have run my first, or gotten into cycling, or fallen in love with mutli-sport events, if I hadn't been with her. So, while she completely broke my heart and made me even more cynical of lasting relationships, she introduced me to cycling and triathlons, for which I will always be thankful. And I always want to be faster than her, too. HA!

Tuesday Check-In

2008-09-30T08:06:00.004-04:00

I was a little better this week, I suppose. Well, so far this week I mean. Sunday we did a 30-mile bike ride, yesterday I ran (20 minutes at an insane 8:30 minute mile pace) and lifted hardcore. I'm so sore today it's ridiculous. Tonight doing Butt & Gutt with Michelle at the gym and maybe taking a spin class if it's not the late one. Otherwise I'll run and do spin tomorrow.

I've been really angry lately. I think it's because I really have to buckle down and figure out what I want to do with my life. It's time to go back to school and get either a masters or my law degree, or it's time for a job change, or it's time for both, and I just can't figure out what I want to do.

So because of all that anger, I thought that going to the gym last night and kicking my ass would help. It did, for like maybe a half hour.

Sources of anger to follow:

I hate my apartment. It's so dark and dirty and small and depressing. It gets no natural light except for in the bedrooms. I get NO cell phone service anywhere. Our new neighbors have to ridiculously annoying yappy dogs. Lindsay and I had a really, really bad fight this weekend over her not wanting to deal with the ramifications of me going to law school. I can't stand my roommate and her passive-aggressive way of dealing with EVERYTHING.

I know I'm afraid to fail. I always have been. I struggle with it constantly, and it's one of the reasons that I become so easily complacent in my life. And I know thats one of the reasons I've always struggled with losing weight. I'm afraid to take the leap and finally buckle down into a serious routine, because I'm afraid I'm going to fail. Or I'm afraid I'm going to be successful. Or I'm afraid I'm going to be successful and then fail, which would be even worse. Losing the weight, being happy, and then slowly putting the weight back on. I've done it before - after I left the Army I was the smallest I had ever been. Six months later I was the biggest I had ever been. And it's the same with making a career/education change - I know it's something I need to do to make myself better. I'm just afraid that I'm going to let go of something I'm good at (my current job, even though I'm not really a fan of it) to go into something that I may potentially fail at. For instance: what if I leave my job now (which has a lot of job security, even barring the current economic crisis), go to the police academy, and get hurt and have to drop out. I'm jobless. I have nothing. And having nothing in NYC is most definitely NOT a good thing.

So my issue lies mainly in the fact that I'm afraid to let go of something that works for me, something that I'm good at or in, to make a change and risk failing and having nothing. Even if taking the risk means doing something I've always wanted to do and would make me happy. And that goes for both the job and losing weight.

Hi Slacker

2008-09-23T10:31:00.002-04:00

I've been bad. I can admit this. I have just been so sore, so tired, and so run-down that it's amazing.

So I took the pump class on Tuesday. Wednesday I took my abs class, a spin class, and then I ran for ten minutes. The transition from the bike to the run was painful and I really don't want to experience that again, so I'm trying to practice as much as possible. Aaaaaand I haven't worked out since then. Oops. I was sore all the way till Sunday. Friday night Lindsay met my parents (went really well. Yay!) And then we went to see my favorite cover band with all my friends from home. We didn't get back to her place till 330AM. I slept in Saturday morning, she went to the gym (because she's crazy).

I was going to go for a bike ride Saturday afternoon, but when I got to the place I ride at and got on my bike, I realized it was totally busted. My saddle is falling off, my handlebars are bent off at a 45 degree angle...It was really weird. I proceeded to totally embarrass myself and fall off the bike, cutting open my knee which proceeded to bleed for the next 36 hours.

Sunday I went to the final game at Yankee Stadium, and spent 12 hours at said Stadium. So no exercise. Went back to Jersey yesterday because I left my running shoes there, and proceeded to not run. I'm going back out tonight, and hopefully I can convince Linds to go for a run with me.

Blargh.

Quick Update

2008-09-17T07:47:00.003-04:00

It's Wendesday, and I think I've finally recovered from the tri on Sunday. I've been eating well (with the exception of a huge binge after the race, but come on. I had just swam/biked/ran for an hour and twenty minutes at my max. I deserved that grilled chicken with carmelized onions, jack cheese, and barbeque sauce on garlic bread. And wings. And fried ravioli. And two beers. But hey! The chicken was grilled!). I took Monday off because I wanted to let everything recover fully, and then went back to it yesterday.

I went out to Jersey to go to the gym with Lindsay. She is hugely involved with these gym classes run by this guy/company called Les Mills. They do everything - weights, step classes, high-impact aerobics-like things, yoga-esque classes, dance, a version of spin, and a few more that I'm sure I'm forgetting. I took the weights class (BodyPump) with her a few weeks ago, and really loved it. So I went out there last night and took the class again. It's an hour of non-stop interval weightlifting set to music.

Tonight I'll do my usual abs and spin classes. Tomorrow I'll probably try to run, Friday I'm taking off, Saturday I'm running and taking Pump again, and then Sunday we're going for a long bike ride (I'm hoping for at least 25 miles).

I'm excited, because I got a call back from my gym yesterday about a position I applied for. Nothing crazy - just working reception and the front desk. But I need to get another job, because the current financial situation (or crisis, I suppose) is the one and only majorly stressful thing in my life. I am, however, thinking about getting certification as a group fitness instructor in spin. Or Les Mills version of spin, RPM.

I FINISHED!

2008-09-15T08:11:00.010-04:00

Ok. So maybe all my talk about drowning was a bit...dramatic, over the top, and ridiculous. Not only did I finish, but I met my goal of finishing in 1 hour, 20 minutes! I think I can easily say that I totally kicked ass. So here's my time breakdown:

Swim: 5:40
T1: 1 min 14 seconds
Bike: 39 minutes 40 seconds
T2: 44 secodns
Run: 31 minutes, 43 seconds

For a total finish time of 1 hour, 20 minutes, 8 seconds.

I'm taking those eight seconds off though, because I had a minor gaffe during the second transition. I had my CO2 cartridges (in case a tire was running low), in the back pocket of my jersey, since I don't use a saddle bag. They're kinda bulky, and bounce around in my jersey while running. I had meant to take them out after I put my sneakers on but FORGOT! So after I had left the transition area I had to turn around, go back to my area, empty my pockets, and THEN start again. But whatever. I DID IT!

We got the transition bag together the night before.

We woke up at 4:15, and this was pretty much how I felt about the whole thing.

So feeling like that it was my job to go outside and get the bikes on the car. I had never used this rack before, so I was all sorts of confused. I had to rack and unrack them like four times because I couldn't figure the damn thing out. But finally I got it done.

So we left, got some coffee, ate some breakfast, and made the hour-long trek to Lavallette. We got there, set up our transition areas, got marked up, and did a few warm-up laps in the bay.

So now, the race. Of which, of course I have no pictures of at this point. Lindsays dad was there taking pictures, and once she gets them online I'll steal them and put them on here.

But we were in the first wave of swimmers, and once the horn went off everyone started running into the bay. It was so cool, and totally a surreal moment, when I realized 'holy crap I'm actually doing this!'. The swim was a kind of out-of-body experience - I remember it, but I kind of felt like I wasn't there, if that makes any sense. I was pretty much able to keep my stroke the entire time, but I found it difficult to keep my head in the water because I was so unaccustomed to swimming with such a large mass of people.

T1: SO MUCH EASIER with a full-zip jersey! In and out with no problems. We were some of the first people there that morning, so we set up our bikes and everything right by the exit. It was pretty good.

Bike: LOVE the bike. I was only passed by some guys who were total elites - $10,000 tri bikes, aero helmets, the works. I think I kept a solid 18-20mph pace, and even passed four or five people on my own. It was so much fun. The only thing is, I wasn't challenging myself. I wasn't breathing hard, I wasn't really tired. But I couldn't figure out how to go faster. Less resistance, more pedaling? Higher resistance, less pedaling? Higher cadence? I'm not really sure. My quad starting to cramp up towards the last 3 or 4 miles, but it wasn't bad. I was able to stay in a crouch, riding on my drops, for all but a minute or so when I had to stretch out my back.

T2: Aside from the debacle described above, pretty good. Don't really remember it though.

Run: OHMYGOD so much pain. My shins felt like they were going to split open and explode. I don't know why - I never suffer from shin splints, so...Who knows. After about 1.5 miles they calmed down and I was able to find my stride. Got passed by a lot of people that I beat on the swim and bike, but thats ok. I know the run is my weakest area. Gotta work on that for the 12th. I know that I ran the last 1.5 miles in 14.5 minutes, so I was definitely running negative splits so I was happy.

I had forgotten to start my watch at the beginning of the swim, so I started it when I got into T1. My watch said 1:14 and change when I crossed the finish line, so I figured I had a time of around 1:23 or so, total. But then they said I finished in 1:20.08! I was so freaking ecstatic! I went back on the run course to meet Lindsay (who was a bit behind me), and run the last bit of the run with her. Afterwards we met up with her family and waited for the awards ceremony. They had told me when I checked in that there would be a prize for first time triathlete's, and I thought that with my time I may have gotten something in the womens category. So we waited. And hydrated. And, of course, took a picture (I'm wearing the sunglasses).

There ended up being no prize like they told me, so we packed it up and went home. And my thoughts on triathlons now? I love them and I definitely found my new sport!

Operation Find Don

2008-09-12T09:50:00.003-04:00

Please help.

The author of a blog I read, Tomato Nation (written by Sarah D. Bunting, aka Sars), is searching for her 9/11 angel. Please help her Find Don. We all need to find Don.

And read her personal account of what happened that day. She was there; she experienced it; and she recounted it in a way that it more true, more accurate, and more heart-wrenching than any mass-media outlet could ever attempt.

I'm going to drown. Seriously

2008-09-12T08:11:00.003-04:00

So my triathlon is on Sunday, and I haven't been in a pool in about...three weeks. I'm getting really, really nervous/concerned/scared shitless that I am going to need to be fished out of the OPEN WATER SWIM IN THE OCEAN OHMYGOD SHARKS AND RIPTIDES AND WAVES OH MY!

::ahem::

But. Seriously. I am rather nervous about the swim. It's 1/4 mile. I know I'm going to kick ass on the bike ride (11.5 miles, aiming for around 35 minutes), and the run (5k, hoping to break 30 minutes). But I'm only going to kick ass on those two parts if I don't DIE IN THE OCEAN first.

Sorry. Sometimes I can be dramatic.

I tried to get into the pool last night. Lindsay took me to the Woodbridge Community Center, but their open swim didn't start till 8PM (we went around...6). Then we went to the Metuchen YMCA, but their open swim didn't start till 930. Both of those times were far too late - I've found that if I work out after 8PM, I don't sleep well/at all that night. So we went back to her apartment and went for a 30 minute run.

Why is it that all these forces seem to be working against me getting into any pool?

But on the plus side, I did just find out about a private school in my neighborhood in Brooklyn that has an indoor pool that may be open for public use. So I need to look into that to work out for the Oct. 12 triathlon we're doing. Speaking of, I need a wetsuit...Ocean swim + October = really cold.

Training round-up:

Tuesday: Rest due to aforementioned scheduling debacle.
Wednesday: Abs and spin (and the spin class was great, btw. I could really tell the difference in my endurance and strength from being on my road bike so much lately).
Thursday: 30 minute run, 2 minutes of which were barefoot. I think I was running at about a 9:50/mile pace, which could hopefully bring me in under 30 minutes for the 5K.
Friday: Rest
Saturday: swim/bike/run brick on the actual race course. It'll be short - 5 minute swim, 6 mile bike, 12-15 minute run - just to get a feel for all the transitions.
Sunday: Triathlon (1/4 mile swim, 11.5 mile bike, 3.1 mile run). I'm hoping to finish under 1:20.

Wish me luck! I won't be able to update again until Monday, because like I said before, I only have access to the interwebz at work.

Missed workout, oh no!

2008-09-10T07:52:00.002-04:00

So I missed my workout last night. I left my office (in the Financial District, NYC) at 420, got on the PATH train at the World Trade Center, transferred at Newark-Penn Station to a regular train, and my girlfriend picked me up at 520. By the time we got to her apartment, and were able to change, get the bikes, load the bikes, and drive the hour to where we were going to ride, it would have been dark. So that was out. She had run that morning, and I busted out 3.5 miles on Monday in an OLD (think 500+ miles) pair of shoes, so my joints were aching. The pool was closed. EVERYTHING was going against us.

So we went shopping.

Ugh.

Today: Abs and a spin class, because I (yet again) left my good running shoes at Lindsays.

Soon I will get this new schedule under control.

HYC Check-In

2008-09-09T08:57:00.002-04:00

Hi everyone.

This is my first check in. This week went pretty well, I suppose. My training has been going extremely well (with the exception of Sundays ride, of course). Yesterday I did a 3.5 mile loop around Prospect Park, and I finished it in about 32 minutes and change - one of my fastest times ever. At least, since I left the Army. So since last week, my mileage has been...

Bike: 31 miles
Run: 5.5 miles

I think I've dropped a pant size (see yesterdays post, where I think I could have taken a 10 in the pants I bought for work).

The abs class I wanted to go to last night wasn't actually scheduled, so I'll try to hit that tomorrow evening. Tonight I've got another bike/run brick with Lindsay out in Jersey. Wednesday will be abs/run, Thursday will be run/swim, Fridays a rest day, Saturday we're biking the course again, then Sunday is my FIRST TRIATHLON!!!! Yay!! I'm gonna go buy a new jersey for the race (a new jersey for my race in New Jersey. Heh). Hopefully I can get my hands on the Brooklyn jersey I've been eyeing. Gotta represent the 'hood! (a new Brooklyn jersey for my race in New Jersey. Heh).

So I've been feeling good about myself. I've been eating well (during the week, at least). I figure that as long as I really watch what I consume during the week, it's ok to go a little crazy on the weekends. Because I admit, I love my beer. I don't necessarily enjoy the buzzed-ness that comes FROM beer, but my god I love the taste of beer. But thats another entry entirely.

And soon I will really get into my reasons for creating this blog and joining the Healthy You Challenge. But not today - I'm at work, which for the time being is the only place I have internet. And that entry will be a little too in-depth for a quick work update.

Weekend review and week training schedule

2008-09-08T08:12:00.003-04:00

Lindsay and I went out yesterday to ride the course for our triathlon next weekend.

WORST RIDE OF MY LIFE.

Between the headwinds...And the sidewinds...And my extreme dehydration (due to the approximately 5 beers I drank the night before)...And my lack of food intake...And my flat tire...I felt like absolute crap after we finished. We did about 11.5 miles (which is NOTHING), and I think I averaged about 18 mph, which with the winds was actually an extremely respectable time. But around the last two miles I started to feel really sick, and when I got off the bike I was dizzy and shakey and nauseous and couldn't really think. My brain was functioning at such a low level that I couldn't tie the knots to secure the bikes to the rack on my car. So we went to the QuickCheck and Lindsay got me some chocolate milk (for carbs and sugar), a cliffbar (for food), water (for obvious reasons), and gatorade (for electrolytes). I downed the chocolate milk and cliffbar, and while I stopped shaking I was still really nauseous. I sipped on the water for a while, and after about 45 minutes I was feeling normal again.

We wanted to get a half-hour swim in, too, but we had so much to do that we didn't have time.

On the plus side, I had to buy a new pair of pants for work today, because I wanted to be able to spend another night with Lindsay. So I went to Eddie Bauer, because I love their clothes and had a gift certificate. And I fit into a size 12! And they were loose! I don't know how much weight I lost in the past week, but I do know that when I tried these exact same pants on three weeks ago, they fit but were a little tight. And today they're loose! And I probably could have taken a 10 in them, but I was in a rush and didn't want to have to try on another pair.

So that was very exciting :-)

This weeks workout agenda:
Monday: Abs class and a run (maybe - I left my running shoes at Lindsays. Oops).
Tuesday: Bike and swim
Wednesday: Abs class and a run
Thursday: Bike and swim
Friday: Rest
Saturday: Short bike
Sunday: Sprint Triathlon (1/4 mile swim, 12 mile bike, 5K run). I'm aiming for a 10-minute swim, 38 minute bike, 30 minute run - I'd love to finish under an hour and twenty minutes.

First Step in a New Endeavor

2008-09-04T10:47:00.004-04:00

I've always been pretty bad at following through on 'resolutions' I make for myself. Be it eating better, working out more, reading new books, staying up-to-date on politics...Anything. But now, I'm tired of being the 'big kid'. Of having people be surprised when they hear I'm an athlete, that I ran a marathon, that I'm training for a triathlon (which, btw, is next week. ahhh!). I want people to look at me and see a runner, see an athlete, see someone who is strong because of their athletic ability, not solely because of their thickness.

So I am starting this blog, and joining the Healthy You Challenge, in the hopes that it will help keep me honest about what I do, what I eat, how often I work out, and will give me a kick in the butt when I skip a workout or five.

So on the agenda for tonight: 14 mile bike run, 30 minute run with my girlfriend down in New Jersey.

Food consumed (so far) today: 8 ounces V-8, banana-blueberry smoothie shake thing, apple cinnamon granola. And enough water to make me pee every hour.