Monday, January 17, 2011

Late, But Great, New Years Resolution

I've never been big on New Years Resolutions. I think they're kind of hokey, and the vast majority (read: all) of the time I make one, it never fails to fail. I think it's because all my resolutions have always been so specific:

Lose twenty pounds.

Go to the gym five times a week.

Save more money.

Etc, etc, etc.

These resolutions, for me, do not a good year make. I can hold myself to them for a few weeks, but then it just becomes too much. I get bored, I get annoyed, I get distracted.

I went to visit my parents this weekend, and on Saturday my mom and I went to see her best friend, a woman who is like a second mother to me, and she looked at me and said, "You're in a really good place right now". And I am - I'm not sure when it happened, or how it happened, but I am in a better place right now than I have been in over a year. Over New Years weekend something clicked, something in me snapped, and unconsciously I decided to change. I didn't say I need to change, I decided to change. This, I think, is the biggest factor between resolutions that are kept and resolutions that fail.

It wasn't as easy, though, as deciding to change. Change encompasses so, so much. What am I changing? What needs to be changed? How am I going to facilitate these changes that I've decided to make?

I wasn't sure how to navigate these questions, this broad area of newness. But then, something happened. I bought this:

Honestly, I only bought it because I liked the colors, and the graphics on it were pretty cool. It shows an evolutionary progression from an amoeba, through various animals, to a present-day man hauling a briefcase and smoking, to a more evolved present day man riding a bike with wind turbines behind him.

But I've been staring at that big, bold word in the middle of the bottle and it dawned on me: Change was not what I needed to do. I'm a pretty decent human being as I am. What I need to do is EVOLVE. There is an inherent difference, in my mind, between change and personal evolution. It is the difference between saying something within me is not good enough, and I am good as I am but I can be better.

I am good as who I am, but I want to be great. I want to be amazing. I want to be the best person that I can possibly be.

My New Years resolution? It's simple.


1 comment:

RunAmyRun said...

Awesome plan Ashley. I'm glad you're in a good place looking forward. I'm happy for you.