Monday, January 12, 2009

Is it 2010 yet?

2009 could not have gotten off on a worse start if it had tried. Over New Years, my cat was in the ER because of a completely blocked urinary tract. After he got home he had a reaction to the meds that he was on that resulted in two MORE trips to the ER. I got two parking tickets within a week of each other. My father lost his job. And then, the icing on the cake...

The other night, I wrecked my car. We were coming home from snowboarding, and I spun out on a patch of ice or slush or something on the NYS Thruway. I spun and spun and spun, finally controlled the car, came to a complete stop, and then was hit by a Nissan Pathfinder. No one was hurt - we spent about 5 hours in the hospital getting checked over, and after some xray's and CT scans we were discharged. We spent the night in a hotel upstate, and then got back to Brooklyn yesterday afternoon.

I am so sore, and so tired, and so...I don't even know. I keep going over it in my head, trying to figure out what I could have done differently, and why I didn't try to get the car off the highway after we stopped and once I noticed the Pathfinder closing in on us. I know that while it seemed an eternity to us, it really only happened in about 5 or 6 seconds, and the fact that I was able to control our spin and keep up on the road was really, really good. But I should have been able to maintain control and get us off the road before the Pathfinder hit us. I haven't slept well since it happened...Last night I had a couple beers and took an anti-anxiety drug that my doctor prescribed me for flying, and it basically put me into a drug-induced coma, but I don't feel like I slept.

Needless to say, I think I fell off the wagon a little bit yesterday. I ordered a small white pizza, and while I didn't eat the whole thing, I ate 3 slices. BUt that was also all that I ate all day. So maybe it wasn't that bad. I don't think I'm going to work out today because I'm so sore and tired. I think I'm still in shock. While we were in the hospital I couldn't stop shaking - it was basically full-body convulsions - and I was freezing and couldn't stop crying.

We could have been killed. We could have been seriously hurt. I could have killed someone. If he had hit my car in any other spot - engine, gas tank, etc - my car could have blown up. Luckily he hit the back on the side that the muffler was on. But still...I am still completely shaken.

My friends aren't mad at me - they say that it was a complete accident, that no one is at fault, that I need to stop apologizing because I did everything that I could have to stop our spinning, and that it was just unfortunate that we also got hit. Because if we hadn't gotten hit, everything would have been ok. I controlled the car, kept us on the road, didn't flip us over or land us in a ditch...

I'm just still really, really, really shaken up. And I probably will be for a while.


carla said...


the snow and ice are terrifying when you (one? I?)lose control in a car---especially the what ifs.


Jen, a priorfatgirl said...

oh my goodness, so so sorry to hear about the rough 2009 start. Car accidents are scary, even if no one was hurt, there is still an emotional toll. Sending healthy wishes your way!

Scale Junkie said...

Sending big hugs your way! The start of your year was like the end of mine, dog at the vet and hubby in an accident. I'm just glad no one was seriously injured. I hope your soreness goes away soon and kitty will be ok. The what if's will drive you crazy, don't let them. Don't worry about what you ate a few days ago, just worry about this moment today and move onward!

{{{so glad you're ok}}}

Mama Bear June said...

Are you getting chiropractic care? With accidents like that, your body can have residual pain for a long time and seeing a chiro can be very helpful! So sorry. My son was broadsided by a Suburban this summer and it shook me up for a LONG time! He walked away from it, his angels were working overtime since he was hit on the driver's side - could have been so much work.

Our trials are actually what give us character, so you'll be building lots of character this year! ;-) Sending hugs your way.